ありがとう・・・

2006/12/12

先日娘のケガをブログに書き込みましたがその翌日、今度は私がケガをしました・・・
只今2ヶ月間のギプス生活をスタートさせたばかり。2ヶ月と言えば、かなり遥か長い生活になりそうです。今日で、4日目の生活ですがそろそろ、コツをつかめてきましたが当たり前ですが何をするにも時間かかります!!長女は部屋の掃除機
当番をかって出て、夕飯前になるとお部屋を全てきれいにしてくれます。しかし残念な事に”掃除機”とは自分で作った掃除機。
新聞紙を丸めて棒にしてそこに吸い込む口を箱で作り、膨らましたビニール袋に手で拾ったゴミを入れていく原始的な作業です。笑っちゃいます!!でもこれが長女のよさなのかも知れないと改めて子供を見つめなおしている最中です。次女は小さい体ながら洗濯機から濡れた重い洗濯物をかごに移し「よいっしょ!よいっしょ!!」と運んできてくれます。かごを引きずるので床は傷だらけですが、娘の頑張りが形として残っているのでこれはこのままずっととっておきたい傷です。
クリスマス、お正月、長女の誕生日と年末年始にかけて家族のビックイベントが控えていたのに・・・
と思いますがきっとこんな年末年始最初で最後だろうと割り切って楽しみたいと思います。
神様がくれた2ヶ月・・・と思って家族のこと自分のこと周りの人のことゆっくり時間をかけて考えてみたいと思いました。
今回のケガで自分自身涙もろくなったように思います。
長女に買い物リストを渡し、ジャンパーを着てマフラーを巻いていつまでも部屋の中にいる私に手を振りながら買い物に行く長女の姿を見ては愛おしくてたまりません。自分がこんなに子供を愛おしいと思ったのは本当、産まれて来てくれた時依頼かもしれません。
元気なときは「〜しなさい」が多かったのに最近は「ありがとう」と言う言葉が多くなりました。
娘達も言います。「ママはこの頃やさいい目だね。ありがとうがいっぱいだね。」そんな言葉を聴いてまた涙がいっぱい。私は人に泣いてる姿を見られたくないので涙をこらえるのに必死です。
ケガをして大変なことも多いのは事実ですが、家族の存在の大きさを今、すごく感じています。
小さい4歳と6歳の子供にこんなに勇気付けられるとは思っても見ませんでした。
ありがとう・・・

この記事のトラックバックURL:
http://hanazono-garden.com/blog/n/tb/91

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